Waiting for the God Who Waits
By: April Bennett

This morning, one of my children asked why I had rearranged something in the kitchen. I started to explain and was arrested halfway through the first sentence by a curious “What?” from another of my children walking into the room. I began again. I think I made it three quarters through the sentence before my third child ran in. Another “What??” I took a deep breath. Of course it was an opportunity to teach my children manners, but that moment also revealed the impatience in my heart. I wanted to huff and show my frustration. Such a tiny, insignificant thing, yet it was a struggle. I could tell countless stories like this. I think we all could. Very few of us are good at waiting, yet patience is part of the fruit of the Spirit at work in us, and even a core part of God’s revealed character.

Oversimplified, patience is the ability to wait well. In our lives, patience can show up in the small moments, like repeating myself to my kids, or in long and agonizing suffering, like illness, financial insecurity, or broken relationships. Sometimes being patient means we wait contentedly for things outside of our control, like for the traffic to move or for a new job opportunity. Other times, it means bearing with the quirks, faults, and even sins of other people that inconvenience or harm us. 

God’s Patience

The God whose Spirit fills us is deeply, abundantly patient. Listen to how God described himself when he first revealed his nature to his people at Mount Sinai: 

“The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

(Ex. 34:6b-7)

This passage is quoted and requoted throughout the Hebrew Scriptures—it is foundational to the relationship of God with his people. When God introduces himself, one of the things he wants us to know is that he is patient. We see this lived out as the story unfolds. (Read the prayer in Nehemiah 9 for a great summary). How many times do the people rebel and complain as they journey to the promised land? Yes, there are consequences, but God does not give up on them when they clearly deserve it time and again. God fulfills his promise and brings them into the land. Again and again the people forsake God for idols. Yet, when they repent and turn to God in their trouble, he rescues them. God was patient through many centuries of Israel’s continual idolatry, violence, and oppression of the vulnerable before finally sending them into exile. Still, God did not give up on his promise to bring rescue and blessing through the Messiah. As the Apostle Peter put it, in his case looking forward to Jesus’s return, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (1 Pet. 3:9). God’s patience is a compassionate patience, bearing with our sins and failures in order to have mercy on us.

What adjectives come to mind as you think of Jesus? Wise, merciful, challenging, courageous, maybe puzzling? I doubt your list would include “hurried” or “rushed.” Think about the stories. Jesus stopping on the roadside to heal the blind men crying out, “Have mercy on us, son of David!” (Matt. 9:27-31; 20:29-24). Jesus compassionately feeding the multitudes who crowded him and didn’t leave for days (Matt. 15:32-39; 14:13-21). Once, an important leader named Jairus begged Jesus to come and heal his dying daughter (Luke 8:40-56). As they pushed through crowded streets to Jairus’s home, a woman who had suffered from constant bleeding for long years reached out and touched the tip of Jesus’s robe. She was instantly healed. Jesus, who knew exactly what happened in that moment, could have checked off another healing without even breaking stride. But he deliberately paused to talk with the woman, to connect with her. Jesus doesn’t seem to feel the need to rush. For the person with the most important calling any human ever had, Jesus is stunningly interruptible.

Our Patience

How do we grow into patience like this? Patience is deeply rooted in trust. Jesus trusted the Father, as we can see in his willingness to face the cross. “…not as I will, but as you will” (Matt. 26:39). If we want to grow in patience, we, too, must trust. When we know the character of God, when we meditate on his promises and past deeds (both in our lives and the stories of Scripture), it becomes easier to wait and to endure. We learn to submit to God’s wisdom and timeline instead of trying to define or control our situations on our own terms. We learn to say with David, 

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.” 

(Ps. 130:5-6)

Being patient also requires letting go of our own self-importance. Let me not forget that my wisdom is limited. How else can I learn to set aside my agenda when necessary and see people as more important than my to-do list? As we remember our own need for patience and forgiveness, God’s Spirit can enable us to respond kindly when other people are inevitably frustrating, inevitably failing us yet again. As Paul reminds us, “Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love” (Eph. 4:1b-2).

Impatience can have terrible consequences. I think of Abraham and Sarah, waiting for the son God promised them. They waited for years, and in the middle of their story grew impatient. They thought “maybe God needs a little help,” so they involved their slave, Hagar. They terribly abused her and her son, Ishmael, in the process. Hagar and Ishmael end up abandoned to the desert to die—though not abandoned by God, which is another story (Gen. 16; 21). How often do I grow tired of waiting for God and try to wrest control of a situation, manipulating and hurting other people in the process? 

Patience is not apathy. It is not a shrugged “Que sera sera, whatever will be will be.” God cares deeply about our suffering and does not rebuke when we cry out and question him. Scripture echoes with cries of “Why?” and “How long, O LORD!” The Psalmists ask repeatedly (Ps. 6:3, 10:1, 13:1-2, 22:1, 35:17, 74:10, 79:5, 80:4, 90:13, 94:3, 119:84). The prophets take up the refrain through the long and terrible suffering of exile (Jer. 12:4, 47:6; Hab. 1:2; Zech. 1:12). The souls of the martyrs lift the cry in God’s throne room, longing for justice (Rev. 6:9-11). The difficult truth is that we are given no neat answers for suffering in this life. This we are given: we wait on God, and we also lament. We plead with God to act, knowing that God’s character is unchanging, and his promises are sure even if his reasons and his timeline are obscure to us. 

Some practices can help make space for God to form into us patience: disciplines that cause us to slow down and admit our dependence on God. We can set aside times for solitude or silence. Jesus was patiently available, but he also regularly withdrew to be alone with the Father (Matt. 14:13, 23; Mark 1:35; 6:46-47; 14:32-42; Luke 4:42; 5:16; 6:12; John 6:15). The practice of a Sabbath rhythm (whatever shape that might take in our unique schedules) can help us know that our own effort is not what makes us okay, rather it is the God who is faithful and trustworthy. We might consider the advice of Dallas Willard, “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.” (John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, pp. 18-19.) Many of us live at a frantic pace. Yet we were created to image a God who is deeply relational, and relationships are slow and time-consuming work. The call of God for some of us might be to slow down, to create more time for learning to love well. 

Learning to be patient is a slow endeavor, a lifelong work. Thankfully, we have a patient Savior to teach us how to wait well.