By: Olivia Meade“Kill them with kindness.”
That’s a phrase we’ve all heard; maybe we’ve even said it from time to time. It isn’t wrong to be kind. We certainly should treat others with benevolence and seek to show honor. But Christlike kindness carries much greater meaning than just “being nice” to someone. We shouldn’t “kill them with kindness” to prove a point, but rather, offer loving-kindness to others in the name of Christ, expecting nothing in return.
Receiving Kindness
The Bible has a lot to say about kindness. Not only is it a characteristic (or attribute) of God, but it’s also part of the fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5. As we’ve discussed throughout this series, the fruit of the Spirit lists nine traits that should be evident in Christ’s followers, including love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22–23). Paul’s list in Galatians isn’t exhaustive, but it does give a comprehensive look at what is expected of those indwelt by the Spirit.
Kindness is listed after love, joy, peace, and patience, and that seems fitting, right? It’s difficult to be kind without patience. You can’t be patient without peace, and joy is nothing without love. That’s the beauty of the fruit of the Spirit—each attribute depends on another, making it impossible to have just one. The Spirit imparts this gift to us in full; you can’t opt for joy and leave out self-control.
True kindness is offered out of love. Surely, our greatest example of this is Jesus. He always made time for others, especially those on the fringe of society. In Matthew 9, Jesus is confronted by a man named Jairus . His daughter was ill, and he knew Jesus was her only hope of healing. After hearing the story, Jesus and his disciples left with haste to go visit the girl, but as they moved through the crowd, a woman grabbed Jesus’s garment. He immediately stopped. The crowd grew tighter, and the disciples grew weary. They were on a mission to go save a little girl, why were they stopping?
In a crowd of people, it could’ve been anyone who touched Jesus. Yet he knew exactly who it was and why she did it. This woman had suffered for twelve years with a condition that caused a constant discharge of blood. Her condition would’ve affected every part of her life, leaving her in physical pain and isolated from society due to ceremonial laws. In an act of kindness, Jesus stopped all he was doing and turned his eyes to her. She had so much faith in him that she knew that just touching his garment would heal her—and it did. Jesus said in Matthew 9:22, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”
This kindness reaches far beyond pleasantries and generosity. It’s rooted in steadfast love and wholly interested in benefiting others. The Hebrew word hesed is often used when describing this in the Bible. It connotes a kindness that’s deep and enduring; one that goes beyond feelings and action and is rooted in pure love and loyalty. God extended this loving-kindness to us, even while we were yet sinners, sending his beloved Son to die for us. We’re on the receiving end of the greatest act of kindness in history—how hard should it be for us to extend a fraction of that kindness to others?
Extending Kindness
In parenting, I often find myself telling our girls to be kind to one another. I don’t want to hear them fighting and yelling (who does???), but more than that, I don’t want them thinking it’s okay to treat others unkindly. Taking a toy from your sister isn’t a heinous crime, but the principle stands—treat others the way you wish to be treated. We know this as the “Golden Rule”, and it comes from the Sermon on the Mount. Directly following it are these words from Jesus, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matt. 7:13–14).
Jesus is saying that treating others with kindness and respect is actually the narrow way. It isn’t easy nor is it popular, but it’s the path we’re called to walk as Christ followers. We’re teaching our children to offer kindness as a gift, expecting nothing in return. In doing so they’ll walk the narrow way—the way that leads to abundant life with Christ.
In today’s culture, meeting an exceptionally kind person is remarkable. It stands out. If you pay for someone’s coffee in the Starbucks drive-thru, you might go viral. Showing kindness to others without prompt may seem rare, but it shouldn’t be for the Church.
Saint Augustine wasn’t always a saint. He was raised by a mother who was a devout Christian and father who was a pagan. They encouraged his curiosity and academic studies from an early age, and as it turns out, he was brilliant. Augustine spent much of his young adulthood traveling and studying philosophy and had no interest in Christianity. It wasn’t until he visited Milan and met a man named Ambrose that his faith began to take shape.
Ambrose was a prominent public figure in Milan and known widely as a dynamic speaker and teacher. He was also a Christian and fierce advocate for God’s Word. In Augustine’s famous work, Confessions, he said this of Ambrose, “That man of God received me as a father would, and welcomed my coming as a good bishop should. And I began to love him, of course, not at the first as a teacher of the truth, for I had entirely despaired of finding that in thy Church—but as a friendly man.”
Augustine was captivated by Ambrose because he was friendly and kind. It wasn’t his theology that led Augustine to Ambrose, but the kindness and care he showed to a young man with questions. Ambrose would later have the honor of baptizing Augustine, and Augustine would become one of the greatest Christian influences in history.
Kindness is a gift, but it isn’t empty. Paul reminded the Romans that “God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance” (Rom. 2:4). God’s kindness toward us is merciful and steadfast, and that should bring us to our knees. The kindness we show others must come from the same root—longing to see them embrace Christ. Ambrose was kind to Augustine, and that helped navigate Augustine’s path toward repentance. May our kindness and good faith do the same for others—leading them through the narrow gate toward abundant and everlasting life.