Here Am I, Send Me

Corey Bonasso

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing that scares you every day.” I’m all for self-growth and having an adventure–I used to jump out of planes for fun. However, if you know me at all, you probably know that I am a creature of habit and I love my routine. Safety and security are some of my favorite things and my comfort zone is my happy place. That being said, that’s not necessarily a good thing, especially in the spiritual context. The comfort zone can be a place where growth stops and complacency sets in. In America today, the Church, by and large, has optimized and stationed itself squarely in the comfort zone.

I’m a pastor at New Heights Church in Milton, WV. In just a few short weeks, our church will be planting and launching Radiant Church in Saint Albans, WV. The Bonasso family has decided that we will be departing from New Heights to be part of Radiant Church. Radiant will now be able to launch with the benefit of a plurality of pastors, with myself alongside church planter, Ryan Bandy. When Pastor Ryan first came to New Heights nearly two years ago, I did not have any plans or ideas about being part of the church plant, but I was excited to support this plant’s growth within New Heights. Since that time, I have gotten to know and become close friends with Pastor Ryan. When he posed the question to me of whether I would be interested in joining him at Radiant, my honest answer was, “I don’t know, I have not really considered the question.”  This was also during a time of relative chaos in my life with a busy work schedule and health issues for my brother. After much prayer, deliberation, and discussion with my wife and others, we have decided to step out of the comfort zone and leave the church that has been our home the last decade.

Anytime I’m considering a question that is a “why?” question, I try to consider the other side as well – “why not?”  When considering the question of “why join Radiant,” I did the same thing - “why not?” Well, in this instance, I had plenty of why nots. My wife and I came to New Heights when we were newlyweds, and we’ve now been at New Heights for 10 years. We’ve had four children who have literally and figuratively helped grow the family of New Heights. I have grown to love and respect my fellow elders and admire their leadership and heart for the church. Rachel and I weren’t around when New Heights first began, but we began attending not long after it had launched. New Heights is something that we helped build (albeit in ways I would say are minor), but we do feel a sense of accomplishment and ownership with this church because we have done our best to pour ourselves out to lift it up to the glory of God. We have seen God honor our efforts to grow this church into something beautiful. To put it simply, the main “why not” is because we love New Heights and it is the best church we’ve ever been a part of. This church has loved God and his Word and his people so well. It’s amazing and humbling to see. Some of you might be thinking, “if you love it so much, why are you leaving?”  Excellent question, and the short answer is that I feel that God is telling me, “Go and help do it again.” 

If you’ve never seen the movie Fury, I recommend it. There is one scene in particular that I love. One of the characters (nicknamed “Bible” for his strong faith) says this to his fellow soldiers right before a battle: “There’s a verse I think about sometimes – many times – and it goes ‘then I heard the voice of the Lord saying whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ And, I said ‘here am I, send me.’” Isaiah 6:8. Now as a pastor, I will always tell you to be wary of taking a verse out of context (as is done in the movie). However, the context of this verse is Isaiah being commissioned by God to take the word of God to the people. Radiant Church has the same mission – take the word of God and proclaim it to the people of the world so that God may save and show his mercy and be glorified. When I think of the mission of Radiant and what God can do, I feel emboldened and excited at the prospect of being sent, even though it’s still scary.

I would be doing a disservice to my wife if I failed to tell you about her role in helping make this decision. God has blessed me with an excellent wife (I would say the best), and one thing I have learned in our ten years of marriage is that she has a unique ability to help me center myself. The typical scene inside my head is usually chaotic. My mind tends to run at warp speed, and it’s hard for me to slow down. She has a way of quieting the noise in my head, and when the noise in my head quiets down enough, then I can better understand what’s going on inside my heart. Initially, I was too distracted to focus on this decision, but when I posed the question to her, her own introspection started. She shared her heart with me and after much prayer, we decided we will answer the call to go. 

As I mentioned, the comfort zone can be a place of stagnation. When I examine my own heart, I see that we have grown somewhat comfortable at New Heights. I have my friends, my wife has her friends, and my children have their friends. It’s a nice familiar routine. That being said, it’s gospel centric, so I will say with conviction that being comfortable in a gospel centric environment is not a bad thing. But is it the best thing? Am I missing out on an opportunity to do something at Radiant that maybe I wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to do if I stayed comfortable? Do I want to be an example to my children and show them that sometimes the thing God is calling you to is uncomfortable, difficult, and scary, but we obey anyway? Even though there were plenty of why nots and lots of reasons to stay, I continued to feel this quiet whisper in my heart from God telling me, “I have great things in store, and you could be a part of it.” 

I have learned so much during my time at New Heights, especially since stepping into a role as pastor these last few years. There are so many things that I have seen at New Heights that I want to emulate at Radiant. To clarify, I don’t want to help build a clone of New Heights – Radiant will be its own unique family.

I hope and pray that Radiant is an amazing success, and that we could eventually plant another church out of Radiant in the future. One fact I know to be true is that God does not need me to accomplish his plans. As a sinful human being, God does not need me for anything. However, what an amazing blessing it is that God chooses to use me in his plans at all. As Christians, we have good works that God has stored up for us. Not every good work has to be as dramatic as leaving your church after 10 years to help build another one. Our mission in life is to live our lives for the glory of Christ, and God has prepared these good works for us everywhere. We have so many opportunities every day to glorify God – we are not limited to major life transitions. However, if we keep saying no and staying comfortable and listening to the why nots, we become like Jonah and run the opposite direction of where God wants us to go. I spent several years of my life resisting what God was calling me to do because it would have taken me outside of my comfort zone. However, over the years and with God’s strength, the more that I’ve said yes, the more he has blessed me. That’s not a testament how my willingness is anything to admire, but rather it is a testament to God’s faithfulness when his children step out in faith, even when (especially when) it’s scary.

In Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus told his disciples, “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” It can be a scary thing to go, but Jesus commands us to do this. Thankfully, we live in a country where my decision to help plant another church is not a life-or-death decision. Even so, it can be scary to step out in faith, out of your comfort zone, and risk failure and disgrace and hardship. But we can rest in and gain strength from the final words of Jesus to his disciples (which includes us) before his ascension: “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

One good thing is that although the Bonassos will not be at New Heights anymore, we’re on mission in the same place in a way. We’ll still have our jobs and routines – our life outside of Sunday will continue more or less as it has. We’re just going to church down the road. But I certainly will miss seeing the people of New Heights every Sunday. As I have been praying for Radiant, I will continue to pray for New Heights. I love you all and I pray that God continues to move and work through both of these churches and pours out his Spirit on each and every person.