By: April Bennett
In my best moments as a homeschooling parent, I remember that education should engage my children as holistic beings in relationship with their creator, and not as brains to be filled with facts and skills. I have the privilege of sharing with my children the good, the true, and the beautiful—God’s fingerprints in the world—and the story of the gospel. We are called to bring up our children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4). Homeschool is not the only way to work toward this, but it has been a life-giving choice for our family.
Homeschool and the Idol of Control
My own story with homeschool is complicated. Our family began homeschooling in the 1990s, just as I started kindergarten. Home education was uncommon in American culture, but it was a growing movement in conservative Christian subculture. One of the few homeschool organizations at the time was Bill Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI). We joined and ended up in church with other ATI families. Unfortunately, the good desire to protect children from negative influences became twisted into an idolatrous obsession with control. Grace in Christ was replaced with authoritarian legalism. For years, I wore ankle-length denim skirts and thought rock music was evil. Homeschooling was held up as the only valid choice for godly parents, and public schools were decried as centers of indoctrination and debauchery. I absorbed the messaging so well that when, in my high school years, my parents considered putting me in public school because of my mom’s chronic health problems, I was terrified and begged them not to send me to such a terrible place. In the end, we continued to homeschool, and I graduated with a homeschool diploma in 2004.
Now a parent myself, I’ve had to work to untangle Christian home education from these toxic strands. I came to realize that the negative picture of public schools that was portrayed to me was mostly fear-mongering. To be sure, there are problems with public education. But I’ve met wonderful teachers who invest deeply in students and seen schools offer much-needed support to families. I also came to realize that it’s good for children to encounter messages contrary to the gospel while they have their parents nearby to mentor and model how to respond. There is danger in sheltering my children so completely that they are unprepared for and upended by cultural messages that differ from what they’ve been taught. I came to realize that public and private schooling can be wise choices for faithful followers of Jesus.
Why Homeschool?
So, why have we chosen to homeschool? My desire to teach my children can be traced partly to the legacy of my mom, who faithfully taught through hardships that I’m only now beginning to appreciate. Despite the toxic and unbiblical ATI culture, home education was a gift for me. It gave me stability through frequent moves required by my dad’s job. I have wonderful memories with my brothers and parents.
If I am present enough to recognize them, a homeschool day brings a wealth of opportunities to connect with my children and to help them connect with their creator. I get to learn alongside them, rediscovering awe at God’s creation. I get to observe how they learn best, notice what fascinates them, and meet them there. Conversations about faith and God’s story with humanity arise naturally in science lessons, history read-alouds, and nature hikes. By God’s grace, I remember that I am teaching image-bearers, not curriculum. I get to look for opportunities to nurture my son’s passion for building and my daughter’s delight in living creatures.
Another strength of home education is flexibility and freedom. As author Ainsley Arment writes, “Home-based education isn’t about ‘doing school at home.’ It’s about freeing our children to learn in their own way, at their own pace, within the most natural conditions.” We learn at the table, but also in the kitchen, down by the creek, at the library, and in the car. The possibilities for how to homeschool are many. An average day might look like a mother teaching lessons and worksheets during traditional school hours. Or it might not. In some families, the father is the primary teacher or both parents work and collaborate to educate their children. There are curricula available for every learning style, budget, and educational philosophy. Our family follows a traditional schedule with a long summer break, but others school through the year and take frequent short breaks. I know a family who sold their house and bought an RV to spend a season “road schooling” cross-country, exploring natural wonders and historical sites.
Other Considerations
What about socialization? Depending on the circumstances, homeschool can bring benefits or challenges. Children do need time with peers to build social skills and make friends, and not all kids flourish with school at home. On the other hand, home education can be a refuge for children who have experienced traumatic bullying. For our family, giving our children opportunities for friendship requires intentional effort. We live in a rural area, so they cannot run across the lawn to play with neighbors. Thankfully, there is a growing list of homeschool communities available. We are part of a co-op where parents work together to teach enrichment classes like Shakespeare, debate, science labs, etc. We also meet up weekly with a small group of families for a hike and nature play. Some homeschool kids find community in sports leagues, music groups, and clubs. One of the best ways we have found to give our kids community has been through church small groups.
Because many homeschool groups are Christian-based, homeschool families can end up leading lives surrounded mostly by other Christians. I’m also conscious of the fact that, as we focus on our children at home, we may neglect to advocate for and invest in healthy local schools for the benefit of other children, especially those whose families have limited resources and little voice. It may take intentionality to find opportunities to share the good news of the kingdom of God and to fulfill Jesus’ call to love our neighbors.
Every year, my husband and I reevaluate our decision to homeschool. It may not always be the best choice. For now, though, I’m grateful for the chance to spend this time with my children. There are hard moments and moments of doubt, but also moments that remind me why we’ve chosen this path: the privilege of forging connections with my children and accompanying their growing relationships with God.